


That Awkward Moment When

by Nearchild



Category: The Fosters (TV 2013)
Genre: Jonnor - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-12
Updated: 2015-04-17
Packaged: 2018-03-17 12:46:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3529955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nearchild/pseuds/Nearchild
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jude and Connor share a kiss in Jude's bedroom. As emotions begin to boil how will the two boys handle the new aspects of their relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Fosters or any of the characters in this story.

As Jude felt Connor’s lips pressed against his he was flooded by emotions that he couldn’t process quick enough. Does this mean Connor likes me? But he is dating Daria. Do I like Connor? Does this mean I’m gay? Does this mean Connor’s gay? What does this mean for us, for me? It was all too much for Jude so he pulled away, not wanting to lose the sensation of Connor’s lips against his own but wanting to stop before he lost something even more important than the euphoria from this kiss.  
“Hey,” Jude said as he gasped for his breath like he had just been held underwater for two minutes, “I… I don’t know what this is, I…” He was interrupted by a knock on his door, and then the creak of it opening.  
“Hey guys! Just wanted to let you know that lunch will be ready soon, and to get ready to come downstairs.” Lena looked at the two boys kneeling on the floor, trying to scan the room and access the situation. “Everything okay here?” She looked at Jude with a look of worry and sympathy, almost like she had known what had just happened.  
“Yes, everything is just fine Mrs. Lena. We will be down in a sec just have to finish the game we were playing.” Connor smiled with his adorable smile that was trying to hide the awkwardness that was steaming from Jude’s whole body.  
“Okay, well lunch 10-15 minutes, be ready.” Lena left the room, leaving the door open.  
“I-“ Jude tried to continue what he was saying but was cut off by Connor’s lips once again pressing against his own.  
“I don’t know what I want, I don’t know if I am gay.” Connor started to speak as he pulled away from Jude’s lips “I don’t know what I will do about my dad if I am. I don’t know what I will do about Daria. But what I do know is that when I see you, when I kissed you in that tent, when I held your hand in that theater, what I know is that in those moments I learned that I cannot live a single day without seeing you, hearing your voice, smelling your scent, hearing your little snide remarks that no one else but me seem to hear and laugh at.” Connor smiles at Jude, making Jude giggle. “All I know Jude is that I want this. And I can figure out the details later.” He kisses Jude again this time longer than the last three times. Their lips locked for almost a full minute.  
Connor pulled away and began to stand up; he grabbed Jude’s hand and pulled him up with him. “Let’s go eat lunch. We can figure out more later.” Jude nodded at Connor’s words, a wide grin across his face, no longer caring about the future but only worrying about Connor’s hand entwined in his own.  
They two young boys get downstairs and without knowing are still holding hands and see everyone staring at them. Mariana’s eyes widen as she notices that the boy’s hands are connected. She begins to squeal. Jude quickly separates their hands using his now free hand to grab just above his elbow. Rubbing up and down trying to comfort himself from the embarrassment of accidentally revealing his new whatever he and Connor were to his whole family.  
Jude looks over at Connor whose eyes seem to show fear and whose face seems to be creating a new shade of red. The piercing eyes of Jude’s family staring at him, Jude noticed Connor’s frozen body wasn’t going to do anything to help the situation so he decided he would.  
“Well… let’s sit down.” Jude says as he pushes Connor forward into his chair right across from Jude, in between Mariana and Brandon.  
“Soooooo, are you two like a thing now?” Mariana asks as she can barely hold back her squealing.  
“No, no, nothing like that.” Jude responds quickly, still fearful that Connor is still too out of it to answer anyone. “Connor isn’t even gay, and for that matter neither am I.” Jude sees his whole family look down like they seem to know something that he hasn’t told them yet.  
“Well that’s a very convincing argument, except that trying to play footsie with each other under the table seems to say otherwise. Oh, and by the way Connor that’s my leg.” Jesus smirks as Connor straighten his posture up, squirming from the embarrassment. Jesus was clearly enjoying the fact that he wasn’t the one whose new relationship was being analyzed.  
“Okay, okay, let’s leave the two boys alone and eat some lunch.” Lena finally interjected on what was clearly and embarrassing moment for both Jude and Connor.  
“Yeah, Mama made a wonderful lunch and we are all gonna sit, eat, and ignore what is clearly none of your guys business.” Stef was laying down the law trying to save the two boys from any more questions and comments.  
“How is it none of my business? I-“  
“Ah, ah, ah, Jesus I said it is none of your business.” Jesus was interrupted by Stef who gave Connor and Jude a sympathetic look, “Now let’s eat!”  
Jude felt a sudden vibration in his pocket. He pulled his phone out and looked at it under the table.  
From Connor: Well I think tht went well :’(  
Jude started typing, when he hit send he heard Connor’s ringer go off, he saw Connor quickly flipped the vibrate switch. Jude then began to type a second message.  
From Jude: Yeah I think so 2, so well tht we will probs need to talk to my moms later   
Jude’s second message finally went through.  
From Jude: About as well as your ringer going off as we try to quietly txt under the table  
“AH-ahh boys you know the rules, no texting at the table, hand them over.” Lena had caught them; of course the ringer hadn’t helped. Jude and Connor shot each other a look each asking what they did to deserve this amount of embarrassment in one day. The two 13 year olds reluctantly handed their phones in to the head of the table. The rest of lunch they just sat quietly and ate, being careful not to draw attention to themselves.


	2. The Room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Fosters or any of the characters in this story.

After lunch was over Connor and Jude quickly tried to run upstairs to get away from the family but before they could make it past the kitchen stairs Lena and Stef caught them.  
“Ah-ah boys, in the living room.” Stef called out to very embarrassed boy, Connor looked back at Jude and Jude sighed at him. They both slowly walked off into the living room. “Jesus, where are you going?” They could hear Stef talking to Jesus as he probably tried to get out of the dishes.  
“You said ‘boys, in the living room’ so I was going to the living room.” He tried to imitate Stef’s voice.  
“I meant the middle school boys not the lazy high school boy who is just trying to not do his chore. Now get your butt back over to the sink and work” Jude and Connor giggled at each other as they heard Jesus let out a loud and clearly annoyed sigh as he turned the sink on.   
“Ok, now it’s your guys turn.” Lena and Stef walked into the living room to see the two boys slumped together on the couch, probably closer than they needed to be. “We need to have a small talk nothing bad.” Lena said as she sat down on the couch next to Jude as Stef sat on the chair across from the two boys.   
“We do not want to assume anything, yes the hand holding was a bit weird but it does not mean anything really. You could just be a bit curious or it could be something more, that doesn’t matter.” Lena looked at Stef motioning her to chime in.  
“We just want both of you two know that you can talk to us. Nothing you could say could make us love either of you less.” Stef continued to speak as Lena rubbed Jude’s arm up and down in a comforting motion.  
“And we mean both of you. Connor we know your Dad might not be the easiest person to talk to about your curiosity.” Lena’s tone was comforting but still strong, as she wanted the boys to feel comfortable around her and Stef. Connor looked down as he kind of had an ashamed face, Jude was sure that Connor was going to shut him out again and not talk to him for another 2 weeks. But then Connor grabbed Jude’s hand and squeezed, not to tight but tightly enough that Jude knew his hand was there in order to comfort Connor.  
“Thank you both Mrs. Stef and Lena. I do not exactly know what I feel not yet at least, but I do know that I have feelings for your son. And I will most likely end up holding you to the deal about talking, because I am not exactly sure I can tell my dad this, not yet at least.” Jude looked and saw that Connor’s eyes began to tear up and in that moment Lena leaned in and hugged both boys.   
“Okay, okay you are free to go.” Stef said dismissing them, Connor stood up not realizing he was still holding Jude’s hand. Yanking Jude up with him so quickly that Jude barely knew he was standing. They began to run up stairs when Stef yelled up at them. “NO CLOSED DOORS!!” Hoping her voice made it up the stairs she let out a sigh. “We are in the right here… right? Telling Connor that he can talk to us instead of his parents, I know it feels right but I feel like I am taking a parenting role from someone who never asked me to take it.” Stef hugged her wife as Lena stood up.  
“Yeah baby we are doing the right thing.” Lena rubbed Stef’s back up and down as they stayed together in the hug. “…maybe we should say something to Jesus though. Kind of tell him to be careful when walking upstairs, maybe?”   
“One thing at a time honey, one thing at a time.” Stef tightened her grip on Lena not wanting to let go of her wife.

Jesus turned the sink off and sighed. “Maybe they are done talking about whatever they were talking about in there.” Jesus leaned into the living room and saw his two Moms hugging; he decided to leave them alone and just walked up stairs. He should invite Emma over; he knows he has a long way to go with her but he needs to keep working on getting back in her to full good graces. Jesus doesn’t even think about it as walks through the door into Jude’s and his room, until he looks on the bed and sees Connor leaning over top of Jude in what seems to be both of the boys first make out session ever.  
“EWW! Get a room you two!” Connor jumped falling off the skinny bed that he and Jude were on. Both boys, for what seemed to be the hundredth time that day turned a bright shade of red.  
“We are in a room, you jerk!” Jude yells as he tries to hide his red face under a blanket.  
“This is our room dude, we are gonna need some ground rules.”  
“GROUND RULES! Why do we need ground rules when I have someone but not when you do!”  
“Cause when it was just me you could just leave the room and it would be okay. Now when we both can be making out we need to be able to split the room.” Jesus was trying to make sure he didn’t lose his room to his newly adopted brother.  
“Both,” Jude gave a small smirk, “you don’t have anyone so I think for now it is your turn to leave the room.” Jude tried to hold back his smirk that was coming from his sense of triumph as Jesus silently turned around and left the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I am still learning how to use the website and how to upload on it. Please tell me if I did something wrong.


	3. The Question

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So rereading this first I had found a lot of tense changes in my writing. I did my best to correct it but if this whole chapter is messed up grammatically just tell me.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own the Fosters or any of these characters.

Connor spent the night that night sleeping on Jude’s floor with the door open. He and Jude had spent all of Saturday morning just sitting together in Jude’s room talking about everything, but also talking about nothing important. Jude was scared to ask and Connor was scared to answer or even think about it. Jude wanted to ask what would happen once they went back to school. He wanted to know if he would still have to see Connor kiss Daria, hold Daria’s hand, and see the look of love and affection for her in Connor’s eyes.

“Hey, so, uh… I know you are dating Daria and I also know we don’t exactly know what this is. But I know that I like you, like I really like you, and if I have to see you kissing Daria and sharing all the same experiences that we have together with her… I, I just,” Jude was having trouble speaking his mind, fearing that if he said he wanted Connor to break up with Daria then Jude would lose him.

“I know I want you, but currently she’s why my dad lets me come over. He thinks that since I have a girlfriend nothing will happen, so is it really worth ending things with her if it stops us from hanging out?” Connor said with the best intentions in mind, not wanting to lose Jude again because his dad was a homophobic ass. But what he said to Jude was the worst.

“YES!” Jude yells noticing how angry he is, he tried to calm himself before talking again. Breathe in, and out, breathe in and out, he comes back to his senses. “Yes, it’s worth it. I want to be with you, Connor, but I won’t be a secret, and I won’t just sit and watch as you kiss someone else leading them on, then come and kiss me leading me on. You need to make the choice. Either it’s this, you and me together, or,” Jude stopped, starting to choke on his words, realizing what he is about to tell Connor. “or we could just go back to being just friends, which is better than you not being able to decide and our friendship ending completely.” 

Connor looked at Jude, in complete and total shock. He didn’t want Jude to be his secret, but at the same time he didn’t want his dad or the school to know. Completely torn at the choices he tried to talk to Jude, “Ju—“ Suddenly they heard a honk come from outside. 

“I think that’s your dad, you should go.” Jude looks down unable to stare Connor in the eye. “Make your decision by the end of the school week. In that time we’ll act friendly but this,” Jude points his fingers at Connor then back at himself. “What we did this past day and a half stops.”

Connor stood up, grabbed his stuff, and headed for the door. But before he went downstairs he turned and walked quickly towards Jude. He pulled the smaller boy up with power and speed, and then kissed him. It was a passionate kiss. Jude’s mind told him to be strong and stop, but he gave into Connor’s lips and kissed him back. As Connor pulled away he smirked, “One for the road” Connor turned around and went down stairs, Jude watched from his window as Connor walks to his car. Once he was in the car and gone Jude sighed and laid down.

“UHHH… what was that?” Jude scurried up from his bed, hearing the voice from the entrance of the door. He sees Callie staring at him; knowing what she probably saw or heard Jude looks blankly at her.

“What was what?” Jude tried to avoid her question, knowing if he told her that he and Connor were possibly a thing she would go all super protective.

“That kiss?!? Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about, you kissed him just as much as he kissed you.” Callie seemed kind of mad, or worried, Jude had always had some issues reading her emotions when she was in sister mode.

“Oh that? That was nothing just uh- practice, yeah practice. Practice for when he kissed Daria, he wanted to make sure that he was a good kisser.” Jude lied. He was a terrible liar when he had to lie to Callie.

“That was a terrible lie; I think you need to talk to me or the family about something.”

“I choose the family. I’ll gather everyone up, just go downstairs for now.” Jude sighed. He knew he would have to tell everyone eventually that he was gay. Jesus had already walked in on him and Connor and figured it out. Stef and Lena had already had a talk with them but Jude was still worried. He walked in front of Mariana and Callie’s room. He let out a deep breath and opened the door. “Hey Mar, Moms need us downstairs.” He knew telling everyone that Moms wanted them would get them down quicker.

“Ok meet you down there, don’t forget to get Brandon and Jesus.”

“Jesus is at wrestling, so I just gotta get Brandon.” Jude smiled as he turned around and walked to Brandon’s room.

“Hey Jude what’s up?” Brandon looked up from his keyboard to see his younger brother who was just above his eye level even with Brandon sitting. 

“Mom wants us downstairs.” Jude gave him a smile.

“Okay I’m heading down now.” Brandon headed out of his room and Jude followed him down the stairs and into the kitchen. Stef and Lena were already conveniently in the kitchen, Lena was working and Stef was drinking her morning coffee. 

“So Moms what’s up?” Brandon asks as he took a seat on one of the kitchen stools.

“Actually Moms didn’t need everyone, I did. I have something to tell everyone.” Jude sighed as he looks around the room, everyone’s piercing eyes looking at him.

“What is it Judicorn?” Mariana smiled at him giving him that older sister look she seems to have perfected. 

Jude took a few deep breaths trying to get the words out; he knows they are true, he thinks he has known for a while. But he has never said them aloud to anyone. He looks around, everyone is still looking at him. Callie seems to know what is coming, so do Moms, but both Mariana and Brandon are puzzled. He finally decides he is just going to close his eyes and say it.

“I’m gay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed, I won't have another update this quick for a while cause I am going on vacation. Also I apologize for this chapter being a bit less light hearted than the first two but I still hope you liked it.


	4. The Reaction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reaction to Jude's coming out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Fosters or any of these characters.

"I'm gay." Jude scanned the room. He looked from one face to the next, trying to read each of them separately and figure out what was going to happen next. Brandon spoke first.

"Are you kidding me? I was pulled away from practice for this. I mean don't get me wrong Jude it is fantastic that you are ready to tell everyone and I support you fully but I have had a pretty decent idea about your sexuality for a while. Now if you excuse me I have to keep practicing for this audition." Brandon stood up and left the room, leaving everyone sitting around the table baffled at his response.

"Well, that was not what I was expecting from him but I guess it's fair." Jude was still a bit confused at the sympathy and anger that Brandon had shown. He felt bad for pulling him away from his practice but at the same time he was also confused as to how he could have known.

"Aww, Judicorn. I am so happy you told us." Mariana walked over and gave Jude a big hug, squeezing tightly. She slowly released her grip then grabbed his shoulders and looked him dead in the eye. "But I have to agree with Brandon, I have known for a while." Mariana hugged him again and then left the room to go back to whatever she had been doing.

"SO DID EVERYONE KNOW AND JUST NOT TELL ME?!" Jude yelled throughout the house. Callie and his Moms looked down as to avoid his gaze. "Are you kidding me? You all knew too?"

"Of course I knew Jude I am your sister." Callie looked at him with her sister look that made Jude relax. "But I thought it was best if you figure it out for yourself, and that you would tell me when you were ready. I am sure Moms thought the same thing."

"Absolutely," Lena nodded in agreement. "We never knew for sure but we had an idea and we figured when you were ready you would come to us."

"Which you did, which is also fantastic by the way, and we are so proud of you buddy." Stef looked at her son and gave him two thumbs up with a smile from ear to ear. "But maybe you should have told Jesus before he walked in on you and Connor." Jude looked down with a face as red as a tomato.

"Jesus did what?!" Callie yelled, surprised at the new information that had just come to light.

"Tell her Jude." Lena tilted her head and looked at him, telling Jude that it was okay to tell her.

"H-He… He walked in on Connor straddling me and us making out." Jude was still looking down in shame and embarrassment.

"HAHAHA!" Callie began laughing hysterically, which got her a death stare from Jude. "HAHA, I am sorry Jude, it is just," Callie wiped a tear from her eye. "you need to be more careful about people walking in on you two. That's me and Jesus who have both walked in on a kiss." This made Jude look down again as he tried to imagine that he was invisible.

"I know I will be."

"Oh and Jude honey," Lena looked at Jude with a sympathetic look. When he looked back her she smirked and said, "No more closed doors when Connor is over. Okay sweetie?"

"Y-Yeah I understand." Jude was a bit disappointed but at the same time he understood that he wasn't going to be given different rules just because he is gay.

"We will talk more about rules and stuff next time Connor is over. In the meantime go do your homework or something." Stef sent Jude off to his room and the kitchen was just Callie, Stef, and Lena.

"So how long had you actually known Callie?" Stef was asking trying to figure out if she has been waiting for Jude to come out for only a couple months or for years.

"Well let's see, he is 13 now so I guess… his whole life." Callie smiled at her Moms. "I know you might be thinking that it must have been hard for me to be worrying about him like that for all this time but honestly it was never an issue. I was gonna worry about Jude whether he was straight or gay. I am just glad that he finally has a family that he feels comfortable enough to tell." Callie started crying tears of joy, tears for her brother's happiness, her happiness, for finding such a wonderful place to live for the rest of her life if she isn't taken away by Robert.

Lena and Stef walked over and gave her a big hug and kissed her head. "We are just as glad as you are to have both of you wonderful children in our lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I know this chapter was a bit short and probably not as good as the past ones. But this is just how I think it would go down. Brandon might be a bit OOC but I think that everyone in the family already has some idea and that Jesus would be the only clueless one (but he found out a completely different way ). Anyway hope you enjoyed this. I hope it will help tide you over to the next episode since this last one was so unsatisfying when it came to Jonnor (at least in my opinion). Also still not the best with grammar or proof reading so if there are any problems tell me.


	5. The Recap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Im going to be honest here. I hated writing this chapter, I feel like I didn’t do anything in this chapter but recap cause that really is all I did. But I feel like I had to incorporate the shooting before I could move forward in the story. You don’t have to read this chapter if you don’t want to, I know I am tired of reading the shooting scene over and over again. Anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as you guys seem to have enjoyed the last 4.

The following days after coming out flew by in a flash for Jude, who was now sitting on the floor of a hospital hallway. Once the school week started Connor had gone back to acting like Jude and him were just friends, like they hadn’t kissed in the tent, held hands in the movie theater, and then kissed again. When Jude confronted Connor about it Connor just told him that Daria allowed them to see each other. Being told this hurt Jude in so many ways; It made him feel like something was wrong with him, it made him feel bad for Daria, who really wasn’t a bad girl – she just got involved with the wrong person. Jude didn’t want to be Connor’s secret and he didn’t want to feel this way.

Despite how Jude felt, Connor still seemed to hold the power in this situation. Connor convinced Jude to sneak out with him, Daria, and Taylor. It was Jude’s worst experience - of all the foster homes he had been in. What happened while sneaking out was the worst fear, guilt, and anger that Jude had ever felt.

* * *

 

_“Let’s get drunk and make out.” Taylor looked at Jude with a little nod. Jude couldn’t understand why this was a good idea at all, or why he would want to do this. But he looked at Connor, who had this sly little smile across his face and suddenly Jude understood. They were not getting drunk so Daria and Connor could make out, Connor and Taylor had something completely different in mind and Jude and Daria were just along for the ride._

_As all the kids silently agreed to Taylor’s plan, they got on their bikes and rode to Taylor’s house. Once they were in the house Jude began to second guess Taylor’s plan again._

_“Guys, I don’t think this is a good idea.” Jude was really worried - he didn’t think this night was going to go this way. He just wanted to TP some girl’s house then hang out with Connor._

_“Come on, let’s go get some beers.” Jude followed Connor into the kitchen. He slammed the door shut as Connor tried to open it._

_“No - don’t. This is a bad idea.” Jude was looking right into Connor’s eyes, trying to get him to come to his senses._

_“Come on, lighten up a bit Judicorn.” Connor smiled at Jude and ruffled his hair a little. Jude was not amused by Connor’s response but before he could say anything Taylor had called them to the other room. Connor went running and Jude followed slowly. He joined the circle that Connor, Daria, and Taylor had started to form. As they passed what seemed to be whiskey around Jude started to panic. When he saw Connor take a drink from the bottle he couldn’t help but wonder how much trouble he is going to get in when he gets caught. But as the bottle gets to him, Jude takes a drink._

_As Jude lowered the bottle the kids heard footsteps upstairs, the lights turned on and Taylor’s dad yelled, “Who’s there!?!” The kids started running - as they reached the door Jude saw Connor turn around and smile at him, and then watched the smile disappear. The next thing Jude remembers was falling to ground as Connor pushed him and then driving in an ambulance as the paramedics work on his best friend, who just took a bullet for him._

_“Why did you push me?” Jude asked as tears rolled down his face. The paramedics had told him Connor would be fine but he was still freaking out._

_“’Cause I’ll die before you get hurt again.” Connor smiled and the rest of the drive was a blur for Jude who still couldn’t stop crying._

* * *

 

As Jude sat on the floor of the hospital hallway waiting for his mom to get there, he couldn’t help but be angry. Angry at himself for sneaking out, angry at Connor for pushing him out of the way, angry at Mr. Stevens for forbidding him from seeing Connor, still angry at Mr. Stevens for responding to his son coming out in the way he did, and once again Jude was angry at himself for letting this man decide when he got to see his best friend and when he didn’t.

Jude looked up to see Lena and Mr. Stevens talking to each other. They were only a few feet from him, and they weren’t whispering, but Jude still couldn’t hear them. Mr. Stevens walked away and Lena sat down next to Jude.

“Honey, I know this is hard. Losing a friend is…”

“He isn’t my friend.” Jude cut Lena off.

“What do you mean? Connor isn’t your friend?” Lena was very confused as to what her son was trying to tell her.

“I-I,” Jude was struggling to find the words that he needed. “There were no girls…in the tent, on the camping trip. It was just us, we kissed, and now we’re…” A single tear started to fall from Jude’s face.

“Now you’re more than friends?” Lena was trying to help her son who was clearly confused by everything that was happening around him.

“Connor… He told his dad.” Lena suddenly understood the whole situation. Why she was told he had been the one who wanted to sneak out when he clearly wasn’t, why he was sitting on the floor of this hospital, and why Mr. Stevens was not allowing their sons to see each other. It made Lena’s blood boil, that this man who could not accept his own son was punishing hers. Just as Lena was about to explode, Mr. Stevens came back from his break.

Jude watched as Lena got up and walked over to Mr. Stevens, he was hoping that by telling Lena everything she might be able to help let Jude see Connor. He could not hear what she said, but next thing he knew Mr. Stevens had opened the door to Connor’s hospital room and was motioning for Jude to come in.

Jude hesitantly stood up and walked towards the door, rubbing his hands together so hard that he thought he might burn them. As Jude walked through the door he saw Connor sit up and smile at him, his excitement showing on his handsome face.

“H-Hi” Jude was looking for the words he wanted to say as he walked over to Connor’s hospital bed.

“I made my choice,” Connor reached out his hand and slowly, carefully, grabbed Jude’s. Connor was holding Jude’s hand like he was the softest, most beautiful thing that Connor had ever seen - which Jude was. “I choose you, it was really a no brainer - I just needed the courage. And apparently a bullet is a pretty good push in the right direction.” Jude giggled a little, wiping a tear away.

“Just don’t make a habit of getting shot every time you need to make a decision. I don’t think I can do that again. I was so scared, they kept telling me you’d be fine but I had to see you to make sure and then when your Dad said he wouldn’t let me in, I-I just…” Jude now had tears streaming down his face. Connor tugged on Jude’s shirt, bringing his face down to a level where he could reach his lips. Connor leaned forward and pressed their lips together, and suddenly the tears stopped. The tears didn’t just stop - the whole world around Jude and Connor froze. Their eyes were closed and they were the only people in the universe. Their lips moving in sync and unlike the first two kisses between them, this kiss was a certainty. They both knew what they wanted and this kiss was expressing that.

As Connor pulled away he looked at Jude’s hands again. Noticing the blue nail polish, a symbol of their friendship, Connor asked “What’s this?” He sent Jude a smile that showed nothing but admiration and love.

“War paint.” Jude and Connor giggled as Connor scooted over, making room for Jude in his bed. After sitting in silence just enjoying each other’s company, Connor broke the silence.

“Now I know you hate labels, and I’m totally with you on that, but I want people to know that you are mine to love. So, Jude Adams-Foster, will you go out with me and be my boyfriend? Will you kiss me on our bench and hold my hand in the hallway? Because I’ve spent a long time being with people I don’t really like and I want to show everyone who I do.” Connor grabbed Jude’s hand, awaiting his answer.

“Yes. Yes Connor Stevens I will be your boyfriend.” Jude smiled and kissed Connor. As they laid kissing the two boys enjoyed a moment of pure unadulterated joy.

 


	6. The Accident

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my longest chapter yet, there was gonna be more but I decided I would split it into two chapters. The seventh will be published in a weeks times. This is the first one I proofread completely by myslef but if you see any errors tell me.

It had been 1 week. 1 week since Connor had asked Jude to be his boyfriend. 6 days 18 hours since Jude had learned of the car accident involving his loving brother, sister, and their birth mother. 6 days since they had taken Ana off of life support and lost the baby. 5 days since Jesus had woken up from his coma. 4 days since Connor got out of the hospital on crutches. 3 days since they learned that Mariana might never wake up. 2 days since Stef and Lena finally left the hospital, and only 1 day since Connor had held a crying Jude until he fell asleep.

The past week for the Foster family had been more stressful and emotional than any other week in their lives. Jesus was still in the hospital and would probably be released soon, but he was not planning on leaving the hospital till his sister woke up. Brandon and Callie had been a mess but they were starting to get better and were going back to school tomorrow. Jude was a mess, he should have been happy. He and Connor were finally dating, but that week he had also lost one of his closest friends and his very caring sister. Even if it was just temporarily he was having a hard time of it.

Jude was planning to return to school when Brandon and Callie did but he couldn’t even leave his room without crying. Connor was planning to go back to school tomorrow as well, he was on crutches but he no longer had an excuse to stay home. As the two laid on Jude’s bed Connor held him close, they were in a deep silence till Connor broke it.

“I think you should go back to school with me tomorrow.” Connor did not want to push Jude, but at the same time he thought staying home would only hurt Jude more. Jude lifted his head, eyes red, watery, baggy, and with dark circles under each.

“W-” Jude sniffled trying to hold back more tears. “Why?” Connor wanted to just lay there and cry with Jude but he needed to hold strong and tell him that staying locked in his room isn’t going to help, and that Mariana wants him to keep living and tell her his stories when she wakes up.

“Be-Because, I think it will be healthy for you to get some fresh air, maybe talk to some friends like Taylor, and also cause I need to go back tomorrow and I want you to always be by my side.” Connor smiled at him, Jude thought getting out would be nice but he just didn’t think he was ready to go back, not yet.

“I’ll think about it.” Jude whispered as he buried his head back into Connor’s chest. He smiled as he began to fall asleep to the sound of Connor’s heartbeat and the rhythm of his breathing.

* * *

 

 When Jude had awoken he was still in his bed, and the alarm in his room was going off. It was 6:45 am and he had to get ready for school. He had thought about it after Connor had left and decided he was right, and that Jude needed to get out of the house.

Jude moved his covers out of his way and groggily walked into his bathroom. Brandon and Callie had probably already showered and gotten ready, and without Jesus or Marian he had time to shower and get ready. The last time Jude had showered was 5 days ago and he had ended up curled into a ball and crying onto the shower floor. He remembered being uncertain of whether the drips coming from his face were from the running shower or if he was just crying that much.

Jude undressed, and turned the knob in the shower, standing outside the shower with his hand in the stream water, he waited it to warm up before he hopped in. The water seemed to just bounce right off of his pale skin instead of cleaning it. He felt like the shower was oil and that it wasn’t doing anything for him. Jude still shampooed and conditioned his hair then he got out feeling no cleaner than he had before.

As Jude dried off he went into his bedroom and opened his dresser, pulling out clean underwear, a pair of jeans, a white t-shirt with a graphic of a blue diamond on it, and then a dark blue hoodie. He did his hair and then waked downstairs to what was a very quiet kitchen. The whole family was silent as they ate their breakfast, much different from the usual rowdiness that was an Adams-Foster morning.

Jude did not really feel like eating so he skipped breakfast and packed just a small lunch. Peanut butter & jelly, a water, and a banana nothing more because Jude doubted that he would even eat that.

“I think I am going to walk to school today, I will see everyone later.” As Jude walked out the kitchen he didn’t think he heard anyone respond to him, and he doubted that anyone was paying attention to what was around them. When Jude got to the door and opened it he was surprised to see his boyfriend standing on his porch waiting for him. _Hmm, boyfriend, it really does have a nice ring to it_. Jude thought to himself.

“What are you doing here?” Jude asked Connor looked down seeming rejected and Jude realized he had sounded a little mean there. “Oh, don’t get me wrong I am glad to see you I was just surprised.” Jude smiled as he looked at Connor who suddenly had a smile from ear to ear.

“Well I thought we could walk to school together.”

“Sounds nice.” Jude replied to Connor as he followed the young man on crutches off his porch.

After walking for about five minutes in silence Connor looked over to Jude and realized that these crutches have got to go so he can hold Jude’s hand and walk. “I just want you to know that as we walk in silence you glaring at me isn’t gonna change the fact that you can’t walk if you don’t use the crutches.” Connor blushed and turned away from Jude’s gaze.

“I wasn’t glaring.” Connor pouted.

“Okay, well maybe not glaring but… no you were glaring at least at my hand you were. It was like you wanted to kill it.” Jude giggled then smiled at the embarrassed boy standing next to him. “It is fine you know, that we can’t hold hands and walk. It sucks but the crutches are off in a week and if those crutches are a symbol of what brought us together then I love them.” Jude smiled at Connor, the same smile that made Connor fall head over heels for this boy. “Even if they are kind of a cock block.” Connor stopped in his tracks. He didn’t think he had ever heard Jude swear. It was weird, surprising, it…it… god dammit was it hot. Connor quickly caught up to Jude and did a 180 so he was standing in front of Jude.

“Jude Adams-Foster kiss me right now. I will fall over if I kiss you but you swearing was quite possibly the most attractive thing ever so kiss me.” Connor knew he sounded desperate and Jude began to smile from ear to ear, as he stood on his tip toes, slowly leaning in to kiss Connor. Cupping his cheek and holding Connor’s face, Jude finally reached his lips and once again they had slowed the world. These two thirteen year old boys, who had had the worst possible 2 weeks yet the best possible 2 weeks all at once, forgot both their troubles and just stood on the sidewalk and kissed. Ignoring the people passing them by, judging them, because what should these two boys care what others think they were happy kissing right then and there and nothing could change that.


	7. The School

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: Enjoy :) thats all.

“Woah, there sailors.” Jude and Connor broke apart from their kiss to see Taylor coming up behind them. Jude turned a bright red and stared at the ground, nudging Connor and telling him to take care of the situation.

“H-Hi there Taylor” Connor put on a smile and tried to hide the fact the he was currently freaking out internally. He was not exactly ready to let everyone know he had a boyfriend, he wanted to tell people but not right away. “How is your morning?” Connor just kept smiling acting like nothing happened.

“Well it just got better, now I get tease someone all day.” Taylor smirked and gave Jude an evil look. “Don’t worry though I won’t tell anyone, unless you want me too.”  Taylor looked at Connor. He thought that maybe if Taylor told everyone it might be easier than having to tell everyone himself and make a big scene.

“Not right now Taylor, but if we need your services we will tell you.” Connor wanted to make sure certain people heard it from him first. “Well we are going to keep walking to school,” Connor nudged Jude signaling that he could look up from his embarrassment. “You are more than welcome to walk with us, you and Jude have first period together anyway right?”

“Yeah, I’ll walk with you guys. Just no making out in with me next to you, I know Connor you love PDA but let’s keep it civil.” Taylor winked on the two boys and joined them in their morning walk.

Once the group arrived at school Jude and Connor made sure there was enough distance between them to not cause any suspicion. As they split apart from class Connor whispered to Jude, “One week, at most that’s all I need to make sure the people I want to tell personally are told. Then we can be as public as you want.” Jude smiled. It made Jude feel all warm and fuzzy knowing that Connor was so willing to do something so hard for Jude.

“Well I will see you guys at lunch.” Connor hobbled away from Taylor and Jude on his crutches giving them a smile and wave.

“What did he say to you to put that stupid smile across your face?” Taylor teased Jude poking his cheek. Jude hadn’t even noticed that since Connor had whispered in his ear he had a smile from ear to ear.

“Nothing!” Jude turned Taylor giving her this big smile as he grabbed her arm and started walking towards their first period English.

“Haha, sure your just naturally this giddy and bubbly.” Taylor didn’t believe he said nothing but she wasn’t going to pry on what the topic was.

“Yes, I am always this bubbly you just never noticed.” Jude said still smiling from ear to ear as they reached their classroom.

“Okay happy or not, you gotta calm down before this class starts so you don’t get us both in trouble.”

“OKAY!” Jude yelled as he tried to get a grip on his emotions. He felt like had forgotten everything that was happening around them like everything with that accident didn’t exist.

* * *

 

Finally lunch time came around and Jude was ecstatic that he would get to see Connor again. Jude sat down at their usual table, Taylor was getting her food and Jude could see Connor coming towards him. But the closer he got the more Jude could see that Connor had a bloody lip and seemed to have red puffy eyes like he had just been in tears.

Connor got to the tables and sat next to Jude. Jude speechless looked at Connor trying to figure out what happened. Finally Jude gave up and decided to ask, “What happened to you Con? You look like you just got punched.”

“Well I kinda was.” Connor gave Jude a broken smile, the blood on his lip starting to drip down his chin.

“What happened?” Jude was worried, he wished he could wrap Connor in his arms and hold him. But he couldn’t at least not in school, not yet.

Connor looked at him and started to tell Jude what happened.

* * *

 

_Connor walked into his first period class gym. He hated having gym in the morning, having to get up shower, get dressed for school, then change into his gym uniform, sweat and get gross, then shower and get dressed again. It was so counterproductive, but this morning he decided it would be a good time to tell the one person other than Jude that he considers his best friend._

_“Hey, Ollie wait up!” Connor yelled after his friend Oliver. They had been friends since they were 6 and played baseball together._

_“Hey Con, what’s up?” Ollie turned around Connor had caught him just before he went into the gym._

_“Can I talk to you before we go into the gym? It won’t take long.” Connor wanted to tell him as soon as possible, this was the one person that Connor trusted as much as he trusted Jude._

_“Yeah sure. What’s up?” Ollie looked at Connor unsuspectingly not having the slightest clue what this was about._

_“Well for a long time I-I’ve kinda known, tha-tha-that,”_

_“Spit it out Con, whatever it is I am sure it’s fine and that you’re just making a big deal out of it for no reason” Ollie had started figuring out what this was about._

_“Well Ollie, I-I’m-I’m” Connor started realizing that him taking longer isn’t going to change how Oliver reacts. “I’m gay Ollie, I’m gay and you’re one of my best friends so I wanted to tell you before I tell anyone else. Also I hope we can still be friends but if this makes you angry I don’t really care it’s who I am.” Connor said all that so fast he wasn’t sure if Oliver had even heard him._

_“Connor, I knew. I know that might not be what you want to hear but we have been friends since we were six. I know you better than anyone else, and I see the way you look at that Jude kid. I knew buddy, and I don’t really care you are still,” Oliver was interrupted by Connor suddenly getting punched in the face by Jeremy._

_“Your gay little friend here might not care CON,” Jeremy used said Connor’s nickname with so much malice and hate that it made Connor tremble with fear. “but I am not gonna be found dead anywhere near a faggot like you. And if you thought this would stay your little secret you’re even more of a moron then you are a-”Suddenly Jeremy was caught off guard by Oliver who he had seemed to forgotten about kneeing him in the stomach knocking the wind out of him then punching him right in the jaw._

_“Shut up Jeremy, just shut the fuck up and mind your own business.” Oliver walked over to Connor and helped him up. “Come on, let’s get you to the nurses office get that bleeding to stop.”_

* * *

 

“Oh my god Connor I am so sorry!” Jude yelled, tears streaming down his face like a river. “That should have been me they should of just hit me. I’m use to-” Jude was cut off by Connor kissing him, everyone in the lunch area now staring at them.

“Shut up you dork, I can handle myself. I would take every bullet and every punch for you. So don’t you ever say you should be the one hit, neither of us should be getting hit but if your pretty little face got hurt I might kill whoever did it. At least this way you are coming out unscathed.” Connor wiped the tears off Jude’s cheeks with his hands smearing them in to Jude’s skin.

“But,” Jude started.

“No buts, I got this as long as it’s for you I can take everything and anything.” Connor smiled his busted lip was swollen but Jude still thought his smile was the cutest thing ever.

“Hehe okay,” Jude giggled, “but you know? You basically just told everyone in school we were a thing by kissing me just there.” Jude smiled innocently, not really that worried that everyone knew.

“Worth every bit of it, kissing you always is.” Connor kissed him again, their lips connecting, fitting together like two puzzle pieces.


End file.
